A Survival Guide For The Holidays

Holidays can be difficult for many

It can be challenging to navigate this strange time of year and it’s emotional complexities – so it’s important to have a bespoke self care plan to help you get through (or ‘survive’) them.

And it’s important to be deliberate and intentional in how you approach this often stressful (for a variety of reasons) time of year.

Have a deliberate action plan so you can mitigate some of the stress (or perhaps grief, if you will be missing some loved ones around the holidays) and have some tools in your toolbox to reach for when you need to navigate challenging emotions and situations.

Harking back to what I just said above about being deliberate and intentional – what do those words bring to mind for you? The answer should be: boundaries.

Setting boundaries is so important to surviving holiday times with perhaps large family gatherings, braving the Christmas shopping throng outdoors (thank god for online shopping these days, am I right?!), buying gifts, planning meals, hosting get-togethers, following traditions and rituals.

It can be a LOT. And even though this holiday time of year is ‘supposed to be’ happy and festive and joyous, we can put a lot of pressure and stress on ourselves which can leech away a lot of that festive joyousness.

Or perhaps, like many others, you may be grieving losses in your life (maybe recent, maybe not so), which can add a whole other layer of complexity to this time of year and can potentially dull the shine of this supposedly happy time. Loss and grief can come to the forefront during the holidays which is usually a time of family and friends and connection and interaction. But when certain people are no longer present it can be…challenging to say the least.

That is why setting boundaries and having some concrete self care practices that you can call on and take out of your Wellbeing Toolbox is so key to getting through the next month and a bit.

And self care isn’t all just bubble baths and a box of your fave chocolates. In fact, even though those things can be nice, and bring comfort and support, they aren’t the most important things. They’re kind of accessories to the whole outfit – nice to have, but not really that important.

So what can self care look like? Well, it’s really unique to everyone so a good start would be to take a moment and reflect on what self care means to you – what things bring you comfort, release, help you to unwind and distress, help bring your nervous system back into balance when it goes haywire with all the overwhelming stimuli that the holidays bring.

Now, don't stress over having to learn some new things when your tolerance for new stuff might already be at a low right now! These self care ideas are all simple and common sense and not something else you need to add to your already full to-do list. You might already do some of these things already, so in that case these will just be reminders.

Some suggestions or examples of self care practices (that you can take or leave or add to as you wish) are:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness doesn’t necessarily mean meditation – sitting on a cushion cross-legged with eyes closed etc. but it can be simply being present in the moment and enjoying the simple pleasures of life. Try to focus on at least one thing per day to be present with. Maybe it’s making breakfast for yourself and your family. Maybe it’s savouring your favourite beverage. Maybe it’s really getting into wrapping your holiday gifts for others. Maybe it’s just admiring the birds outside your window. Whatever it is, these little moments of mindfulness can bring us respite when things get kind of hectic.

Movement

Movement, or being active in some way, is so important for improving and uplifting our moods. Even some brief deep breathing exercises can help – long, slow deep exhales can help flip the switch from our stressed out selves, and allow us to settle into a calmer, more peaceful self. And some gentle exercise can help too. Maybe a workout, or an easy session on an exercise bike or treadmill. Or maybe some gentle yoga. Or perhaps just getting out for a walk with the dog or a run or a bike ride. All these forms of movement (insert what works for you here) can help press the pause button and allow yourself a moment to reset when things start to get that touch too overwhelming.

Getting Outdoors

This is a big one (as in it is super helpful). As mentioned above about movement, as you’ll have seen, a lot of the movement options mentioned applied to being outdoors – going for a walk or run or ride. Getting out in nature is calming. It brings us back to home base. Take a deep breath of fresh air, and allow it to clear the stressy cobwebs that might be cluttering your mind. Take a page from the Japanese practice of Shinrin-yoku or ‘Forest Bathing’ and get outside. You’ll be surprised at how much even just a walk around the block (with or without a furry companion) can help recharge your holiday battery!

Lowering Expectations

This is another biggie. Lowering your expectations on how things should be. We all want things to be perfect and we have these fantasies in our minds about how things should be and how everything should go and we want everything to run smoothly like a well oiled machine or a train on a straight track.

But that’s not realistic, is it? And so these added expectations that are often lofty just add more pressure and stress to an already stressful time. Why do that to yourself? So as hard as it may be, try to loosen your grip on hoping for (or wanting) a ‘perfect’ holiday time. As I like to say: let it go, let it flow. What will be, will be. And the less stressed and wound up and up tight we are, the more we will be able to actually enjoy this time of year (and again, that goes back to being present as well – really taking everything that’s going on and not all being stuck up in our head trying to cook the perfect holiday meal and host a sparkling party and get the perfect thing for everyone you’ve ever met). Pull back on a reins a bit and remind yourself that it’ll all be okay in the end. This is just one time of year. This isn’t forever. It’s not the be all and end all. It’s just a season. Granted, it’s a season that society has managed to wrap up in a big huge ball of stress and pressure and expectations and commercialism topped with a gaudy bow, but it’s still just a season – a finite period of time.

And afterwards, things go back to ‘normal’.

So take a big deep breath, take a look inside your Wellbeing Toolbox and take whatever it is you need to help you get through the end of the year.

And remember – however it goes, you’re not alone! We’re all in this together.

And however you celebrate (or don’t), wishing you a holiday season that works for you.

And don’t forget to live with a dose of wonder!

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