Am I Really Doomed Without Social Connection?

Do psychologists have it right or wrong?

I listen to a lot of inspirational, motivational, uplifting podcasts around the areas of psychology/positive psychology/mental health/meditation/mindfulness/wellness/wellbeing - all that sort of stuff. And even though they’re all different, they often all talk about the same themes.

One of which is social connection. Connection with others - other people, other fellow human beings. And they all talk about the importance of social connection.

How it’s important for our mental wellbeing, our physical/physiological well being, our happiness, our longevity.

Basically, as I’ve mentioned before, either in an article or on my podcast - we humans are social creatures, and as such, social connection and interaction is so important. More than you might think.

And every time I hear this being said on any of the multiple podcasts I listen to (like The Happiness Lab, 10% Happier, Choose Strong, A Slight Change Of Plans, The Mel Robbins Podcast, Huberman Lab, Rich Roll, Science Vs., The Science of Happiness, Good Mourning, Being Well with Forrest Hanson), it makes me feel awful and also makes me wonder: am I doomed to die early?

Why?

Because I’m an introvert. Like, a real introvert. I could probably even be called a hermit (H/T to Amanda - IYKYK).

Like, I don’t really have many friends. I have work colleagues/acquaintances. And I have a few friends, but not super close friends. I mostly just have my husband. And my dog (having a pet is a form of social connection, right?!). And I'm totally fine with this. But all this research and discussion makes me think I shouldn't be.

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, a lack of social connection can be worse for you than smoking, obesity and high blood pressure. Isn’t that crazy?!

According to all the various podcasts I’ve listened to, and the references I’ve listed in this article, having strong social connection can help both our physical and mental health in a variety of ways like giving you a sense of purpose and belonging and improving self worth, as well as boosting your confidence and resilience and increasing feelings of positivity.Obviously interacting with other fellow human beings also decreases loneliness and sadness, and helps with the stress hormone cortisol which helps to improve your immune system and also lowers blood pressure. The final point of one of the references I list, in a list of benefits is: live longer

Yay. Cue sarcasm.

So what does that mean for me? And for those like me who are extreme introverts and who have limited (or no) real social connections with others? Because we prefer it, and enjoy being alone. Yes, I do obviously see other people during the work week, as I mentioned. And I do interact with others in society (I’m not a total hermit!) - baristas at coffee shops, other dog people while out walking my dog, my co-workers, my yoga students…sometimes (but rarely) my friends - and family (besides my husband who I see on a daily basis).

According to the CDC, social connection, and high quality relationships can help decrease the risk of serious illnesses and chronic diseases such as strokes, dementia and heart disease.

So again, does this mean I’m doomed to some (or all?) of these chronic diseases too, due to my lack of ‘high quality relationships’ and social connection (by choice)?

Each time I hear about the benefits through my earbuds while listening to podcasts walking to/from work or while running, I cringe and wonder what fate I’m resigning myself too.

And yes, I know from a psychological standpoint, those brief, casual social interactions, like at my local coffee shop or at work with others is better than nothing at all. And in fact, those can be quite beneficial, so if you’re like me, and you mainly have these brief interactions with your fellow humans, at the grocery store check out line, or while ordering your fave hot beverage, or your daily office chit chat, then don’t despair. These little crumbs of social interactions/social connections are also important and better than nothing at all!

But me, the worrier, does ever so slightly despair, whenever I’m reminded of the benefits and importance of connection with others.

Is there anyone else out there like me? Please say yes! A happy introvert who’s totally content to be mostly by themselves (or maybe with just one or two other close people that they’re in regular contact with)?

Even better, if you've read this, please connect with me in some way! Comment, heart, restack…even send me an email via my full name @substack.com.

✨ Love this reflection?
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References

The importance of human connection https://cmha.ca/news/the-importance-of-human-connection/

The Benefits of Social Connectedness https://prosperhealthcollective.com.au/the-benefits-of-social-connectedness/#:~:text=People%20who%20feel%20more%20connected,trusting%20and%20cooperating%20with%20them.

Social Connection https://www.cdc.gov/social-connectedness/about/index.html#:~:text=Social%20connection%20can%20lead%20to,eating%20habits%20and%20physical%20activity.

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