Connection Is Key

Right now we need to find what binds us, not what keeps us apart

I’m a big fan of Stoic philosophy. It just has so many great reminders of how to live our best lives and be the best versions of ourselves.

One of the foremost modern proponents of Stoicism is author Ryan Holiday. He has a bunch of great books out and one of them is called Stillness Is The Key.

And as big a fan of meditation that I am, and I believe that is good advice, normally, in our hectic and fast paced world, right now, I think connection is key.

Connection in all forms.

Connecting with ourselves - our inner worlds. Our physical bodies. Our breath. Grounding ourselves and finding nurturing and support in these practices.

Connecting with ourselves can be done in a variety of ways - through meditation, as I mentioned above, by focusing on the breath or some other form of ‘homebase’ as it’s known in the mindfulness/meditation world - a touchstone such as the breath or a sensation in the body or something external to us like sound. But also through movement like yoga or dance or exercise.

Next is connecting with the outside physical world. The natural world - spending time outside in nature. Going for walks. Doing some shinrin-yoku or ‘forest bathing’ - immersing yourself in the healing and restorative power of nature (specifically, as the name suggests, spending time in the woods, the forests, the trees. There’s just something special about trees, the lungs of the planet, isn’t there?

So we have connecting to ourselves, to within, in whatever way works best for you.

And connecting outside ourselves to the physical environment.

But the most important form of connection that we could all benefit from right now is connecting with others - with each other. By doing this, we connect to our humanity.

It’s something we all probably realized during the start of the pandemic when we were unable to connect (face-to-face) with others, which had a huge impact on our mental health - that lack of personal connection - when we couldn’t even visit (or hug) our family and friends.

I’m reminded of the African term Ubuntu, which is sometimes translated as "I am because we are" (or also "I am because you are"), or "humanity towards others". It’s also used in a more philosophical way as believing in a universal bond that connects all humanity.

In recent years I’ve really resonated with the concept of interconnectedness. That we’re all connected in myriad of invisible ways.

Like that idea that if a butterfly flaps it’s wings in Japan, it causes a storm in some far away land. Everything has an impact on everything else, in ways that we aren’t always aware of.

That’s why connecting to each other is so important. Not only for support during times of uncertainty and turmoil, but just to remind ourselves of each other’s humanity, no matter where we stand.

We’re all human beings. With feelings and thoughts and emotions. With goals and dreams and aspirations.

I’ve been listening to the grief and loss (yes, once again I’m bringing this subject up!) podcast Good Mourning, that I’ve just recently discovered and have been bingeing since I came across it and finding so much solace and relatability in, which has been driving home the message, implicitly, of connection.

Have you ever heard the word Sonder?

It’s the recognition that everyone around you is living their own lives full of ups and downs and has a story you know nothing about.

Here’s a great definition from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows:

noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own — populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness — an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Isn’t that so beautiful?

It’s something that we need to remind ourselves of, in order to help strengthen connections with each other. It can put things into perspective and remind us that others aren’t just flat 2-D caricatures, but actual real people just like us. It can be easy to forget that sometimes - especially people who aren’t the same as us - who don’t hold the same thoughts and beliefs and ways of living. It can be easy to erect walls between ‘us’ and ‘them’. To keep ‘them’ separate, at a distance.

But we need to try to remove that wall. Perhaps it will just be brick by brick. Or maybe it’s all at once, like the Berlin Wall and it comes crashing down.

Whatever way works for you, it’s something that I believe we all need to strive for, to work toward. Maybe one day. Maybe at some point in the future, we’ll all really be connected, and interconnected.

One can hope. One can dream.

But it’ll take more than just hopes and dreams. It will take action. So I’ll leave you with this.

Question to ponder:

What is one small way that you can make a connection today? Either with yourself or someone else?

And don’t forget to live with a dose of wonder!

© Caitlin McColl 2024

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