The Comfort (and Caution) of Little Treats

A tender look at what we're really reaching for when we 'treat ourselves'

I listen to podcasts constantly—on walks to/from work, while running, and when I’m out with my dog. This morning, mid-run and mid-struggle through my 8km, I was listening to a new favourite: a comedy self-help podcast called Go Help Yourself. In this particular episode, the hosts, Misty Stinnett and Lisa Linke, were unpacking something I’d never heard of—“little treat culture.”

Misty and Lisa read from and discussed two different articles - one looking at the positive pro-side of ‘little treat culture’ and the other from the opposite side asking ‘do we really need this?’.

I found it totally fascinating! So I decided to look into it more, and reflect on it here for you, my lovely readers, in case, like me, you’ve never heard of ‘little treat culture’.

Sometimes, during one of my running routes that takes me past my favourite (vegan!) bakery and cafe, I’ll pop in, in the middle of my 10km, and grab a little somethin’ somethin’. Maybe one of their delicious ‘breakfast cookies’ or an indulgent fancy cube croissant or a slice of their delicious pizza on pillowy focaccia-style crust. And then I’ll awkwardly run home 5km holding a box of whatever treat (or stuff it in the back of my running vest. Sometimes I’ll even take a few minutes break from my run and sit and savour one of their delicious oat milk based coffees. Of course, I don’t need any of these treats…but I’m on my long run, so I deserve it right? A nice treat, a nice little reward, a nice little pause in my day that I can make a small ritual of — to savour and enjoy after something a bit challenging. Feeling the cup in my hand, enjoying the smooth foamy oat milk or biting into that crisp, flaky buttery croissant filled with whatever monthly flavour filling.

This is what the younger generation are calling ‘little treat culture’. The idea that we deserve these small indulgences to help us get through everything that modern life throws at us. A croissant mid-run. A new lip balm for surviving a stressful day. A bookstore browse after laundry. These little treats are like punctuation marks in our everyday lives.”

And in some ways it’s sweet and harmless. It’s a little comforting hug to ourselves. A reminder of “you made it through today.” But there’s also more to it, too, and I think, like Lisa and Misty talked about on their podcast, it deserves a bit of a deeper look (or dare I say deeper dive?! As if I’m AI writing this - ha!).

Why We’re Leaning Into Little Treats

It seems like people are treating themselves for anything they do. Putting on a load of laundry? Treat myself with Netflix. Gone grocery shopping? Treat myself with a complicated (and expensive!) smoothie.

These are all small acts of self-care, aren’t they? We’re being kind to ourselves.

When the world is loud and busy, when we’re tired and stressed, a small little treat, nothing big or too expensive or crazy (we’re not buying a new TV from Amazon every time we do some routine thing!), just a small little something can help make the world feel all right again. A little treat says to your mind, your nervous system: you matter. You worked for this. You deserve this.

And there’s something powerful in choosing to care for ourselves in visible, tangible ways, like that new seasonally flavoured lip balm, or a new pretty writing journal from the discount bin.

They become a little bookmark, a little punctuation in our days that blur together with mundanity (is that a word? mundaneness?) and everyday responsibilities that feel never ending.

A little treat (just a little one, mind you!) like a muffin from the new cafe near you, or a candle that smells like a childhood memory, it can pull us into the present moment and remind us that joy doesn’t have to be grand to be real.

Little treats or rewards also give us something to look forward to, and anticipating something is kind of its own sort of reward isn’t it? It gives us that little frisson of excitement knowing there's a small delight at the end of a long stretch—something chosen just for us, which can get us through all the crap and slog through the bad stuff.

I always enjoy the Nespresso cappuccino I make when I get home from a run (I never have coffee before my runs because that could lead to disaster!). That’s usually my little treat. Warm and comforting, like a liquid hug, a pat on the back of my sweaty self that says to my inner self ‘you did it!’

Sometimes these little treats are the only comfort we allow ourselves. When life is feeling heavier than usual, it’s often these small little comforts that help us through. Like our favourite mug, or a soft, comfy sweater, or a snack all to yourself. It’s a reminder that not every moment has to be productive (but at the same time, it is also something we often allow ourselves after being productive, like a little gold star).

When Comfort Turns Complicated

Not to rain on the parade of your favourite little treat rituals but let’s get into a little bit of what I’m calling the ‘dark side’ of this little treat culture.

As with anything, something ‘good’ for us can flip and become…not so good.

It can sneakily become a coping mechanism. A crutch, without realizing it. There’s nothing inherently wrong with treats, of course. But treats by their very nature are treats because they’re rare - they’re once in a while things. So if every emotional upset or bump in the road of life is countered with the purchase of something (even if it’s small) we might be denying symptoms instead of dealing with what’s going on underneath. It’s like spiritual bypassing but in the form of consumerism. Sometimes we need rest, connection, and increased boundaries—not just bubble tea with extra tapioca pearls.

It also sort of blurs the line between self care and soothing ourselves which is a quick fix band-aid.
Self-care asks, “What will help me heal in the long run?”

Self-soothing asks, “What will make this feeling go away right now?”

Of course we can have both things in life, but we need to remember that they aren’t the same thing. And if we aren’t paying attention, little treats can morph into a form of escape mode.

Here’s another that we need to pay attention to. Especially in the economy right now when eggs are sky high thanks to bird flus (and for some reason the cocoa powder shelves in the baking aisles of grocery stores are almost totally empty right now, what’s up with that?!). And that is: it can become expensive, without us really noticing until we look at our statements. When you're tired, stressed, or grieving, it's easy to think, “It's just $8. I deserve this.” And you do. But if those little moments of self-care/self-soothing/relief start adding up and creating more stress, they stop being kind and start being heavy in a different way.

And lastly, another downside to little treat culture is that our joy and happiness gets intertwined with it in an unhealthy way and we risk outsourcing our good feelings and having them inextricably tied to the little purchases we make. Of course there’s beauty in delighting in small things. But the most sustaining forms of wonder are often free and fleeting—found in nature - in taking a lungful of fresh air, in eye contact with others, or silly conversations, or a well-timed hug. When treats become our only source of joy, we forget that our days hold so many other avenues for happiness and joy and wonder.

So what’s the antidote to make sure we don’t go over to the dark side with our little treats? Here’s some things that might be good to keep in mind.

What Might Feel Just As Good (or Better)

We need to remind ourselves that we can treat ourselves without taking out the debit card or clicking the ‘buy now’ button. Some little treats don’t cost a thing - at least not monetarily - they might cost time or attention or allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.

So maybe give these things a try the next time you’re wanting to treat yourself but aren’t sure what you actually need:

• Step outside and watch the sky for three minutes.

• Lie down and listen to some nostalgic music from your youth

• Check in with someone you haven’t talked to lately by messaging them

• Re-read a favourite book that helped you through a difficult time.

• Make your morning coffee or tea brewing a little ritual - take your time.

• Write what’s bothering you down on a piece of paper and put it in a drawer

• Light your fancy candle in the middle of the day for no reason at all.

• Reward yourself with the reminder that you’re doing the best you can, and mean it.

A Closing Thought

So no, little treats aren’t bad. They can be beautiful, meaningful, and supportive. But they’re not everything. And they’re not a substitute for real care, real healing, or connection. They’re just one small part of the way we show ourselves kindness. And when chosen with intention, not obligation, they can add a little sparkle to our days. We don’t want to treat ourselves for every little thing we do because that takes away the inherent ‘treatness’ of them!

And we need to remind ourselves they won’t fix what hurts. They won’t solve our problems or heal us, not really. But they can help support us. They can be some softness in a life that can often feel hard. They can be a form of a supportive hand on our shoulder as we try to move through our lives with grace.

So I'm not saying don’t treat yourself. Buy the breakfast cookie, the gingerbread flavoured lip gloss, the oat milk latte if, to paraphrase Marie Kondo, it brings you real joy.

But don’t forget the deeper more meaningful forms of caring for ourselves. The ones that last longer than the last bite or sip.

You are allowed to feel good. You deserve to feel good. But you don’t always need to buy something to get there.

I’d love to know — what’s your version of a little treat? And what’s been comforting to you lately that isn’t bought or consumed?

If this letter found you at the right time, feel free to share it with someone else who might need a little wonder today.

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With heartfelt thanks, always.
— Caitlin

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