The Importance Of Purpose
Finding your why
In a world that constantly pushes us towards external achievements and societal expectations, finding your purpose can often feel elusive, almost impossible.
Yet, the search for purpose, we’re often told or made to believe, is one of the most important things to have a fulfilling life.
I recently listened to a podcast (can’t remember which, I listen to quite a few! It may have been a recent Mel Robbins podcast How To Find Your Purpose and Design The Life You Want) where the guest was talking about purpose being of 2 types: a big P purpose, or a small p purpose, which got me thinking.
I always thought your life’s purpose had to be a big P purpose - some big, lofty life goal - your reason for being, your ikigai as they say in Japan (which translates to your reason for living). But when this podcast guest mentioned having a small p purpose, that kind of blew my mind. You mean we don’t always have to be striving to find our True life purpose?! Grand things like curing diseases or healing the planet? Maybe our purpose can be connecting with other people every day, spreading kindness to others. Or maybe our purpose is intentionally slowing down. It doesn’t have to be starting a Fortune 500 company or getting humanity to Mars (though of course there’s nothing wrong with that either).
Understanding your purpose isn’t only about identifying a career path or checking off life goals; it’s about discovering what truly resonates with your inner being, what drives you, and what brings meaning to your existence. This is what I think of as a small p purpose.
So how do we go about finding the path to our purpose?
First we need to think about what we want out of our lives. Our journey begins with some self-reflection. We need to take some time to reflect on our life experiences, along with our strengths, passions, and values, and think about the moments in our lives that have made you feel most alive, where you lost track of time, and were in a stage of flow. When you’re doing something that puts you in the flow state, they often align with your purpose
And you can clarify things to yourself by asking things like:
What activities make me feel energized and fulfilled?
When have I felt the most proud of myself?
What qualities do I admire in others, and how can I cultivate them in myself?
Taking time to journal your answers to these questions or quietly contemplating can provide the mental space to uncover deeper insights about your purpose. Reflecting on past experiences, both positive and challenging, allows you to see patterns in your interests, skills, and growth.
Next we need to determine our values. Our values are the guiding principles that help us act and make choices. When you live in alignment with your core values, you feel grounded and fulfilled. Understanding your values is crucial for identifying your purpose. Your values act as a compass - helping guide you down the path you want to go in life.
Think about the values that resonate most with you. Is it kindness, creativity, growth, independence, or perhaps helping others? By identifying your values, and focusing on ones that mean the most to you, you can make decisions that lead you toward a life of authenticity and meaning.
We also need to determine our strengths and passions. Passion and purpose often go hand in hand, but they aren't always obvious. Your passions may evolve over time, and that's totally normal. We don’t stay the same - our interests change as we move through our life.
The key is to remain open to that change and explore new things. Whether it’s art, helping others, or creating solutions to complex problems (like saving the world), passions can reveal what you want to contribute to the world.
In addition to passions, our strengths also play a critical role in purpose. Recognizing your natural talents, which I’ve talked about before in my podcast when talking about Positive Psychology, can help guide you toward a path that feels both energizing and rewarding. Consider your skills, both learned and innate, and think about how they can be used to make a meaningful impact.
So we start off by looking inward to think about our interests and values to determine our purpose. But it isn’t something that exists solely within, but it also comes from our interaction with the world - like helping others, contributing to a cause, or engaging in creative collaboration - these things can ignite a sense of purpose. Helping other people is often a key factor in people’s sense of fulfillment in life. It allows us to widen our perspective and make an impact on the world around us. And how can we do that? Through volunteering, taking on new challenges, or exploring opportunities to connect with like-minded people. Sometimes, your purpose becomes clearer when you step outside of your own life and witness the impact you can make on others.
And as I’ve said often on my podcast, it’s all about the journey not the destination, even though that’s probably easier said than done. Finding your purpose in life isn’t about getting a final answer, it’s about who you become as you learn and grow and change in life.
As we move forward, our purpose may shift, deepen, or change entirely. The key is to embrace this fluidity and allow yourself the freedom to grow into new versions of yourself. New is not bad. New is wisdom.
Also it’s important to know that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. We rarely do, and it’s kind of impossible to have everything planned out because life is fluid and the best laid plans can change. So we need to remind ourselves that looking for our purpose is an ongoing process and each step towards finding our purpose and each step you take can contribute to a richer understanding of who you are and what you’re meant to do.
And last but not least we need to remember to trust to process. I don’t want to go all woo woo on you but I’ll quote a line from my favourite poem Desiderata:
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should
Even if we trust that our purpose is unfolding as it should, we don’t know all the ins and outs of how that might be working behind the scenes. And we need to remember it probably won’t happen overnight. After all, what’s that saying the best things come to those who wait? And there may be times when you feel lost or uncertain. But by staying true to yourself, continuing to seek fulfillment, and remaining open to the lessons along the way, you will eventually find your path and your purpose - whether that’s a big P or small p purpose.
Trust the quiet moments of clarity that come when you least expect them. They are signs that you are aligning with what you’re meant to do.
And remember: Finding your purpose is a personal and unique journey. It requires introspection, exploration, and being willing to engage deeply with the world around you and connecting with others. It’s not about rushing toward a single goal at the end of the path, but about discovering what brings you meaning, fulfillment, and joy along the way.
And as we continue our journeys to find our purpose - we need to remember that it isn’t about the destination, it’s the expression of your true self in every moment of your life. That really should be your purpose.
To be the best version of you in your life - whatever that is.
Oh, and don’t forget to live with a dose of wonder while you’re finding your purpose!
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I remember spending too much time and energy trying to figure out my big P purpose. When I stopped focusing on that and instead focused on getting to truly know, accept, appreciate and love myself in each moment even with changing going on, my small p purpose simply emerged. Now I actually believe our big P purpose is to be our true, imperfect, authentic selves and the little p purposes will flow from there.
This reminded me of my journey and how at some point I was set on finding the big P! As time goes on I come to embrace so many of the little Ps just because I came across this saying by Earl Nightingale - success is progressive realization of a worthy ideal. This definition made me realise that living purposefully need not be to the standards of society but whatever I deemed to fulfill me and that I thought I was being of service to others. Great article 🙏🏽💕