The Psychology of Nostalgia: Why We Long for the Past

Psychology Meets Wonder #3 of 15

Jul 03, 2025

“Nostalgia is a rebellion against the modern idea of time” — Svetlana Boym

Have you ever caught the scent of something and been instantly transported back to your childhood? Maybe it’s the whiff of some fragrant flower that reminds you of Fruit Loops (seriously, why do some things smell like Fruit Loops?). Or maybe a familiar song comes on the radio and you get teary-eyed over a memory you didn’t remember until right that moment.

That’s nostalgia: the longing for a time that feels not entirely gone, like you can just reach out and touch it, but it’s just outside your grasp. It’s one of the brain’s most curious emotional states: both comforting and grief-laced. And it’s not just sentimentality — it’s psychology.

Let’s wander into why we long for the past, and what that might be trying to tell us.

Nostalgia Is a Self-Regulating Emotion

Though often brushed off as seeing the past through rose-tinted glasses, it’s actually a great resilience tool. When we feel disoriented, disconnected, or uncertain about the future, our brains instinctively look back to our pasts to help orient and ground us. It’s a place of safety, because it’s familiar.

Psychologists have found that nostalgia tends to surface during times of transition, loneliness, or stress. It acts as an emotional anchor, reminding us: You’ve been through things before, and you’re still here. The memories we revisit, like those heart warming big family get-togethers (think summer BBQs or Thanksgiving dinner), carefree teenage nights, or shared laughter with someone we’ve since lost. These memories create a sense of coherence across our life, which can be a powerful balm when the present feels unsteady and uncertain. So nostalgia isn’t necessarily about avoiding the present moment, but it’s anchoring ourselves into it.

Why It Is Bittersweet

Nostalgia isn’t just reliving happy memories of the past. It’s tinged with a sense of longing, and perhaps even a bit of grief for versions of ourselves we’ve outgrown, for people who are no longer with us, for places and seasons that now live only in memory. Sometimes, we don’t just miss what happened — we miss who we were when it happened. And this bittersweet ache has a positive side because it reveals what mattered and the things that shaped us and what makes us who we are now. So nostalgia teaches us how far we’ve come.

What Your Longing Might Be Pointing Toward

When we feel wistful about our pasts, it’s less about the actual time itself but the overall feeling it represented. Maybe what you’re actually missing is:

- The feeling of having less responsibilities, when you were younger and more carefree

- Feeling seen and appreciated

- A sense of community that you might not have now

- The feeling that things were ‘easier back then’ (don’t we all think that?)

Your nostalgia might be asking you to remember those positive feelings and remind you that you need to bring more of that into your present life. It can subtly nudge you to a feeling, a value, or a forgotten part of yourself.

Rather than just reminiscing about a past that’s gone, you can look at nostalgia as a way to reconnect with who you were and who you are now, and how to mesh the two.

Soft Prompts for Reflection

So if you’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic lately, try taking a moment to explore that feeling. You can ask yourself some reflective questions, such as:

What memory has been resurfacing lately and why?
What past version of you are you wanting to reclaim and bring into your life now?
Is there a chapter of your past that you romanticize? Why do you think that is?

You don’t need to recreate the past to honour what it meant to you. You just need to listen to what it’s still teaching. Nostalgia is a love letter to yourself across time. Sometimes, we need to open it and re-read it to mine the details it wants to teach us, and to help us write a new chapter. Our past and our memories of the past are there to help us chart the present and future versions of ourselves — like a map.

With you in the bittersweet wonder of it all,

Caitlin

If this letter found you at the right time, feel free to share it with someone else who might need a little wonder today.

References:

The Psychology of Nostalgia: Why Do we Feel A Longing For The Past? learning-mind.com/psychology-of-nostalgia.

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With heartfelt thanks, always.
— Caitlin

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