The Unexpected Gift of Being Seen

How a surprise nomination reminded me why I keep showing up to write

Lately, I've been feeling a little stung.

I lost seven subscribers in a week — the most I've ever lost in such a short span without gaining some back right away. And I know, I know, we’re not supposed to take it personally. I tell myself it’s part of the process, that it just means the right people are finding their way in while others quietly step out. But still… it stings. It makes you question if you’re saying the wrong thing, being too much, or not enough. It makes you wonder if you’re still being seen for what you hoped to offer.

Which is why this unexpected little award — and the words that came with it — landed the way it did.

I never expected to be nominated for anything as delightfully sunny-sounding as the Sunshine Blogger Award, but what a lovely surprise it was to be chosen by

Danni Levy

, someone whose words radiate heart and light. So thank you Danni!

I didn’t know what the Sunshine Blogger Awards was until reading Danni’s post which nominated me (and others) — and she didn’t either before she was nominated, but apparently it’s a peer-recognition award given by bloggers to other bloggers who are deemed creative, positive, and inspiring.

So now I’m passing the sunshine on — to some other writers who bring something meaningful, heartening, or just plain magical to my screen.

Isn’t it kind of wild and lovely that strangers on the internet can lift each other up just because they see some spark in one another’s work?

Here’s the The Sunshine Blogger 🌞Award Rules:

• Display the Award’s official logo somewhere on your blog.

• Thank the person who nominated you.

• Provide a link to your nominator’s blog.

• Answer your nominator’s questions

• Nominate up to 11 bloggers.

So before I get into the questions that I took from Danni’s post to answer myself, here’s the 11 bloggers I’m nominating for the Sunshine Award because their Substacks are thought-provoking, uplifting, heartwarming, eye opening, enlightening, and each person brings their own special unique magic to their spaces.

So without further ado, I’m nominating:

JFT Beach 🇬🇧 🏊 🧘‍♂️

,

Jennifer Louise

,

Dr Christine DiBlasio

,

Sheila Dembowski

,

Wendy Jennings

,

Hege Kristoffersen

,

Debi Smith

,

Denise Pyles

,

Grace Grossmann

,

Dr. Bronce Rice

,

Gary Coulton

,

Martine

.

And now onto the questions. I’m hoping that you’ll learn a bit more about me (and perhaps I’ll learn a bit more about me too! That’s the magic of writing, I find).

Some answers surprised me. Others reminded me how writing helps me process things I still don’t fully understand — like grief, and the ways it keeps showing up, even in dreams.

I had fun answering these — and they reminded me why reflective questions can be such powerful little portals into knowing ourselves better.

Sunshine Blogger Award Q&A

What do you write about?

I write about trying to bring a dose of wonder to everyday life — either through writing about mindfulness which includes meditation (and sometimes yoga); or mental health and how to reframe our perspectives on life’s ups and downs, grief and loss and the murkiness of that and what we can learn from this transformative experience that we’ll all go through at some point; personal growth and how we can change, evolve and grow into the best versions of ourselves in this moment; and general life musings about anything that randomly pops into my head when I’m in a philosophical mood.

Why?

I write because, well, I’ve always written! Ever since I was a little girl. It’s just something that’s always drawn me. And it helps me process my thoughts and emotions. Like a therapeutic journaling session, even when I used to write fiction.

What’s something you believe deeply, even if it’s unpopular?

I’m not religious, so I don’t believe in Heaven or life-after-death (entirely) but I am spiritual, so instead I believe (or at least I think I do) that after we die our energy, our life-force, whatever it is that makes us who we are, somehow continues to ‘survive’ in…some plane. Not sure if that’s an unpopular belief, but I’m thinking it’s not overly mainstream.

What do you long for right now?

Right now? Another coffee. But beyond that caffeinated longing, I find myself craving less world-wide turmoil — on every level — political, societal, environmental…and any other -als that I can’t think of right now.

What’s a small ritual that keeps you grounded?

My daily yoga practice. I’ve been doing yoga daily for 3,489 days so far. Ever since January 1st, 2016, a few weeks after my mom died in December 2015.

It’s helped me literally move through and process my grief, and I’ve just continued doing it ever since. It’s become a part of me. Plus, I’ve since become a yoga (and meditation) teacher which I teach at my workplace and I enjoy bringing more calm and stress-relief to my co-workers.

When do you feel most alive?

When I’m outside in nature. That’s one of the reasons why I love running. I rarely run indoors at the gym (or on my cheap treadmill at home that I'm terrified will fall through the floor because it's upstairs in a spare room. That’s a last resort, only when the weather is really awful), because I love getting outside and exploring where I live (or maybe where I’m on vacation) through the power of my own body.
.
What’s a truth you’re still learning to live with?

That the world, people specifically, aren’t always as nice as I think they are. Because I always like to see the best in people, and it hurts when I realize that’s not always the case. Not everyone has good intentions at heart (though there are many who do, like here on Substack which is why I appreciate this community so much!).

What do you want to be remembered for?

That I was a good person. And maybe that I’ve helped others in some small way while here on this earth.

Who are you when you’re not creating or working?

Oooh, this is a tough question. I’m an introvert who prefers peace and quiet and stillness over noise and busyness. I enjoy savouring everyday moments like a delicious cappuccino, or how the sun is shining through the trees or the colour of clouds at sunset or petting my dog as I read.

What was your favourite hobby as a child?

Reading. Always reading. Books were my friends. As an introvert, I didn’t have many friends (though I did, some). But I preferred to read and escape into imaginary worlds.

What is your favourite hobby now?

Probably still reading! I have a bunch of craft stuff, and I’d like to think I’m crafty, but I can never really stick to any one thing. I’ve tried needle felting, crochet (failed badly because I’m left-handed and the kit my husband got wasn’t for left-handed people because neither of us realized there was a difference), diamond-dot art, embroidery, adult colouring, drawing/painting. You name it, I’ve probably tried it and then…given up pretty quickly afterwards, even though I have good intentions.

Except for writing — that one’s always stuck with me. I did stop for five years after my mom died (grief will do that), but it came back. So yes, second to reading, writing is my true long-time hobby.

Where is the most exotic place you’ve ever travelled to?

Probably Cairo, Egypt. Just a quick day-trip while on vacation to Cyprus when I lived in the UK — it’s a lot closer than from Canada!

Where is a place you hope to travel to?

New Zealand and Australia. That’s a bucket list trip. It’s a long way away. Literally the opposite side of the planet from where I live on the west coast of Canada. One day.

If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?

It would probably be my mom. She died 9.5 years ago, when I was 36, from alcoholism. We had a…strained relationship because of that, so we weren’t super close. So I’d like to talk to her again. I still dream of her though, which is quite weird and disorienting, because often when I dream of her, within the dream I know she’s died, but at the same time, there she is… and then I wake up with that strange discombobulated feeling.

Who is your favourite musician?

I don’t really have one because I don’t listen to music much anymore. Not like I did when I was younger. I had lots of favourite bands when I was younger — mainly Canadian ones like Our Lady Peace (which is how I met my husband — online through their website message board back when message boards were a thing 20+ years ago), The Tea Party, Matthew Good, and a lot of other Alt-Rock bands.

Now? I guess maybe Taylor Swift or P!nk, if I was pushed. But as I said, I don’t really listen to music. But if one of their songs comes on the radio, I enjoy them.

What is your favourite movie?

This is going to mark me as a child of the 80’s. I don’t have a favourite current/recent movie, that I can readily think of anyways. But from my childhood I loved (but was also afraid of) Labyrinth with David Bowie as the uber-creepy Goblin King, and The Neverending Story. Both cult classics.

Who is your favourite writer?

This might surprise you. It kind of does me, thinking about it. But I think I’d have to say Stephen King. Yes, the king of horror. I’ve read a whole lot of his books, starting from highschool. My favourites of his is his Dark Tower series which is basically all genres mashed into one series - horror, sci-fi, fantasy, western. Though I haven’t read any King in recent years even though he’s probably put out another good dozen or so books in the intervening years. I think the last book I tried (but didn’t finish) of his was Under The Dome.

But other writers I enjoy are from my current favourite genre (besides non-fiction): thrillers/crime thrillers. And my two favourite thriller/crime writers are Lisa Jewell and Louise Candlish, both from the UK.

Non-fiction I read a wide variety of authors - mainly in the wellbeing, positive psychology/psychology, neuroscience, mindfulness sphere. Anything and everything that sounds interesting to me.

And that’s all, folks!

I hope you enjoyed this little Q&A.

I also hope that you check out those people who I’ve nominated as well! And I look forward to reading the Q&As from everyone I’ve nominated (if they choose to participate, it’s totally optional of course, no pressure).

If this post brought a little light your way, maybe you’ll pass it on — to someone else who could use a small ray of warmth today.

Thank you for letting me keep you company for a few minutes. I'm so glad you're here.

Until next time—may you carry a small, quiet dose of wonder with you.

With wonder,

Dose of Wonder is a free publication.
If something here stirred your heart or made you pause — and you’d like to support my work — you can do so for less than the price of a fancy coffee (just $3).
Click the image below or the ‘Support Me’ link at the top of my page (doseofwonder.ca). Every small contribution helps keep the wonder flowing.

With heartfelt thanks, always.
— Caitlin

P.S. Want to write for Dose of Wonder?

If you're curious about sharing your voice and ideas here as a guest writer, I’d love to hear from you. Your piece will be sent to all my subscribers—and you can cross-post it to your own audience too.

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