Wondering Anyway: Finding Magic In The Unknown

Wonder is what life is all about

This is what the heartbeat of my Substack is all about.

Not embracing the unknown (I hate the unknown! Seriously, I like to know what’s going on, and absolutely hate being in the dark about anything. I like be in control. But then again doesn’t everyone?). We're conditioned to seek certainty, clear answers, predictable outcomes, and a sense of control over how things unfold.

But here’s what I have to keep reminding myself almost daily:

So much of life, the real, living, breathing, sacred stuff of life, exists in the unknown, in the shadows.

And that’s not a flaw in the system. It is the system. That is what life is all about. It’s where wonder really lives.

I ask myself: why do we feel like we need to control its unpredictability? I guess it must be a survival mechanism. When predicting what was going to happen next kept you safe, kept you alive.

Wonder Lives Where Answers Run Out

The older I get, the more I find myself wanting to loosen that tight grip on control. To let the reins go a little bit. To go with the flow, more than my up-tight self currently does. Easier said than done, but I’m trying. I’m trying to not need everything to make sense, or a clear plan before I can take the first step.

This desire to let go stems from a realization: the most meaningful moments often defy prediction.

In fact, the moments that have meant the most have been the ones I couldn’t have predicted — the detours, the unexpected bumps in the road, the lost-in-the-dark and I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing parts. We don’t often think of wonder as a skill, but I think it is.. Just like increasing happiness or gratitude is a skill we can work on, if we shift our perspectives a little bit. I’ll share some practices that you can do to foster that skill below.

Maybe wonder is the quiet courage to stay open to stuff, even when the path isn’t clear, and not immediately shut down or say no, or be too scared to take that first small step out of your comfort zone.

To be willing to admit to yourself: I don’t know how this ends… but I’m going to be here anyway.

Tiny Practices That Help Me Welcome the Unknown

I’m not always good at this. I still want answers, and flinch at uncertainty. Sometimes I burst into tears (true story). But these small rituals help me return to wonder — again and again:

The “What else is possible?” Prompt

When I feel stuck or anxious, I ask: What else might be true that I haven’t thought of yet? What other perspective might I not be seeing? It doesn’t solve the unknown. But it makes space for it.

The Morning Sky Check

I step outside, look up, and remind myself: this sky has held everything. All weathers. it’s still here, and so am I. I’m reminded of that quote from Pema Chödrön that I’ve shared before:

You are the sky, everything else is just the weather.

I try to remind myself that my emotions are just passing things. The unknowingness in life is just temporary, not the real me. Also bonus: it’s good to get outside and get some natural light daily!

The Practice of Micro-Awe

This is my fave and what I try to do as often as possible: notice one beautiful, wonder-filled thing a day, and it doesn’t have to be big or grand. In fact, it’s best to take note of the little things, like the curl of steam from a mug, a single bird call, the light shifting across a wall. Today I noticed a neat rainbow that shone on a wall, I think from the sun hitting my Fitbit tracker on my wrist. It was a really beautiful small arc of almost iridescent colours. It’s these tiny wonders, small anchors that jolt us awake and aware that are proof that magic still exists, even on ordinary days.

Let It Be a Little Messy

You don’t need to have it all figured out (thank god because I don’t, and who does?!). You don’t need a five-year plan or a perfectly curated morning routine (again I don’t. I take it day by day. Baby steps. One foot in front of the other). You don’t need to know what’s next in order to take a breath and begin again. Beginner’s mind – always a healthy approach to take. Begin again. And again. And when you think you’re done, again.

There’s wisdom in not knowing (as much as I’d prefer otherwise). And there’s beauty in not rushing to label or define (another way we can slow down in our hectic lives!). There’s room to be surprised by what’s around the corner — and that’s part of the wonder, isn’t it?

That this life, with all its messiness and magic continues to unfold in ways we could never have imagined or predicted and yet, wherever it is that this takes us is probably right where we need to be.

So I’ll leave you with this Soft Invitation:

What if today, just for a moment, you let yourself not know? (And believe me, my inner know-it-all is always pushing back on this one!) How could that change your day (and perhaps your life) if we leave ourselves open to the wonder that not knowing has to offer?

If this letter found you at the right time, feel free to share it with someone else who might need a little wonder today.

✨ Love this reflection?
You can download a beautifully simple 8-point infographic of the key ideas over in my Ko-fi shop. It’s pay-what-you-want — perfect as a gentle reminder, a journal page, or a quiet moment to come back to.

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Every small contribution helps keep the wonder flowing.

With heartfelt thanks, always.
— Caitlin

P.S. Want to write for Dose of Wonder?

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