“Shoulds” are the joy killers—quiet but relentless. They sneak in, chip away at your confidence, and steal the present moment. Noticing them is the first step. Getting them to shift is the work. You’re allowed to be exactly where you are.
Acceptance of the reality of each moment, whether sitting thinking, taking a shower, or being angered by ignorance, is the platform we can stand on for our next wise action.
Radical acceptance -not an easy option but a mindful choice. I think your flow with this really helps unpack what it means and what it doesn't mean. I found that helpful, thanks.
Amazing. Caitlin. So good to have this awareness. It really is a practice. Again and again. And I’d add that I include a few oxigenating calming breaths will put the fight flight freeze part brain into neutral which helps me every time.
"what you resist, persists", I heard that decades ago and it has been helpful with realizing if I keep fighting reality, I will not get anywhere. Spending many years in a 12 step program, acceptance of what is, is really well written by another member in the book associated with the program. I learned that just because I am accepting what is does not mean I approve of it. At one time I would do anything to avoid reality, drinking, drugging. When I quit all that, bam! Reality check! What can I control really? My behavior is what I have control over today and that is about it. It's kind of freeing to only be responsible for my own self. Radical acceptance is a practice... Practice, practice, practicing still.
That is so great you have stopped drinking and drugs! I am proud of you! 😊❤️ and yes it is kinda scary to realize we don't have much control over anything - except ourselves and our actions and our thoughts. We can't control others or situations outside of us (for the most part anyway) I'm a person who likes to feel in control so I'm learning to not be as much as I can!
“Shoulds” are the joy killers—quiet but relentless. They sneak in, chip away at your confidence, and steal the present moment. Noticing them is the first step. Getting them to shift is the work. You’re allowed to be exactly where you are.
Yes 🙌
Well-written, very funny, wise, and one of the best posts I have read on the 'Stack"!
Sorry I am just seeing your comment now for some reason! Thank you!
Caitlin,
You express this concept so clearly.
Acceptance of the reality of each moment, whether sitting thinking, taking a shower, or being angered by ignorance, is the platform we can stand on for our next wise action.
Yes! And you express it so succinctly! 😊 (I'm bad at being succinct! 😅)
I have my moments.
I’m usually an infodumper!
Radical acceptance -not an easy option but a mindful choice. I think your flow with this really helps unpack what it means and what it doesn't mean. I found that helpful, thanks.
Glad you found it helpful!
Amazing. Caitlin. So good to have this awareness. It really is a practice. Again and again. And I’d add that I include a few oxigenating calming breaths will put the fight flight freeze part brain into neutral which helps me every time.
Oh yes, the deep belly breaths too! Great advice!
"what you resist, persists", I heard that decades ago and it has been helpful with realizing if I keep fighting reality, I will not get anywhere. Spending many years in a 12 step program, acceptance of what is, is really well written by another member in the book associated with the program. I learned that just because I am accepting what is does not mean I approve of it. At one time I would do anything to avoid reality, drinking, drugging. When I quit all that, bam! Reality check! What can I control really? My behavior is what I have control over today and that is about it. It's kind of freeing to only be responsible for my own self. Radical acceptance is a practice... Practice, practice, practicing still.
That is so great you have stopped drinking and drugs! I am proud of you! 😊❤️ and yes it is kinda scary to realize we don't have much control over anything - except ourselves and our actions and our thoughts. We can't control others or situations outside of us (for the most part anyway) I'm a person who likes to feel in control so I'm learning to not be as much as I can!
Thanks so much!