The Better Angels of This Moment

Meeting stillness, choosing kindness, and remembering who we are—even now

“We are not enemies, but friends... The mystic chords of memory... will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

—Abraham Lincoln, First Inaugural Address, 1861

Better Angels.

I recently heard the term again, on a podcast probably, and that phrase always strikes me. Appealing to our better angels. Our better natures. Our moral selves.

I’m not talking about the winged kind, of course, but the quiet, steady voices within us that whisper kindness, patience, and courage. The parts of ourselves that choose compassion over judgment, understanding over fear. Lincoln called upon them in a time of deep division, reminding a fractured nation of the shared humanity that binds us. And I think we could do the same right now — wherever we are in the world, because it feels like, for a variety of reasons, the world is a fractured place.

In our current times especially—filled with noise, haste, and polarization—it's easy to forget those inner guides. But they're still there, waiting for us to listen.

The Tug-of-War Within

Shakespeare spoke of the "better angel" and the "worser spirit" (way to be grammatically correct, Will) warring for control of the soul. And in another play, he wrote, “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” And right now, today, that feels true, doesn’t it? That line hits different when you scroll the news or peek at the comment section of any article.

It can feel like the devils are here—rage, cruelty, fear, apathy. They shout louder. They demand attention. They masquerade as rightness or strength. And sometimes, they win. Because the darker angel on our shoulders is bigger, louder, brasher.

But still – the better angels haven't left. They're just a little quieter. They live in the pause before reaction, in the breath before the reply, in the choice to reach out instead of withdraw.

Small Acts, Profound Impact

Our better angels don’t always come with fanfare. Often, they appear in the background of our daily lives:

Choosing to listen, truly listen, when someone shares their pain (and when was the last time you did that?)

Or maybe it’s in offering a smile to a stranger who looks like they’re barely holding it together.

And extending grace to ourselves when we fall short of who and where we want to be.

These acts don’t always make headlines like those darker angels, those worser spirits. But they are powerful. They are cumulative. They are how we build a culture of compassion, one choice at a time.

Cultivating Our Better Angels

So, how do we keep choosing them? How do we strengthen the signal of the quiet, wise voice inside us when the world shouts otherwise?

It starts with mindfulness. I know, I know, I go on about mindfulness a lot. But I’m not talking about the buzzword kind marketed for productivity, but the simple, sacred practice of coming home to ourselves—again and again.

1. Mindful Awareness: The Sacred Pause

Our better angels often live in the pause. The breath between trigger and response. Like that quote from Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl:

Between stimulus and response there is a peace.

That’s where we’ll find our better angels. In that sliver of stillness is where choice lives. And mindfulness is how we access it.

When we notice our thoughts without immediately believing them, when we feel an emotion without being swept away by it, we create space. And in that space, we remember: I don’t have to react from fear. I can respond from love.

But it’s not easy. It’s a practice. And with practice, the pause becomes a habit. The angelic becomes a little more automatic.

2. Embodied Gratitude

Gratitude isn’t just a thought—it’s a sensation. A softening. A widening of the heart. Open eyes, soft heart.

When we root our attention in the present—what we can touch, taste, hear, breathe—we start to notice small wonders we otherwise miss. The glow of morning light through the blinds. A kind word from someone. A deep exhale, softening the body.

This kind of noticing changes us. It rewires our attention away from what’s missing, what’s broken, what’s scary—and toward what’s real, beautiful, what’s possible.

Our better angels love gratitude. It gives them somewhere to land.

3. Self-Compassion as Practice

Sometimes (actually, I want to say probably most times) the person we most struggle to offer grace to is ourselves. And yet, until we can sit with our own imperfection, our own beautiful, messy human-ness with tenderness, it’s hard to extend true compassion to others.

Mindfulness helps us see our inner landscape without judgment. To witness our messiness with curiosity instead of shame. To recognize that being human is a shared experience, not a personal failing. It connects us to the idea/concept/philosophy of Ubuntu – I am because you are.

Every time you speak gently to yourself instead of harshly, you reinforce the neural pathways where your better angels walk.

4. Mindful Connection

And of course, it’s one thing to be present on the meditation cushion, for those of us who do formal meditation. It’s another to be present in the chaos of a Monday morning, or a tense dinner conversation, or a text thread that makes your chest tighten.

But this is the real practice. This is the practice off the mat or cushion, as we say in yoga/meditation circles: Can I stay with myself here? Can I stay with you here?

Our better angels don’t ask us to be perfect (which is good, because we aren’t and never will be). All that ask is for us to stay present—to show up with open eyes and a willing heart.

A Collective Responsibility

Steven Pinker, in The Better Angels of Our Nature, argues that humanity has, over centuries, become less violent—not more. Can you believe that? It seems difficult to wrap your head around, at least right now. But that empathy, moral reasoning, and self-restraint have guided us, haltingly and imperfectly, toward a more peaceful existence.

But just remember: that is not a given. It’s a choice. And it’s one we have to continue to keep making.

Because while the devils might be loud, the angels don’t leave. They whisper. They wait. They wonder if we’ll remember.

An Invitation

So I invite you to pause and listen. What are your better angels whispering? What would it mean to honor them—in the next hard conversation, in the way you speak to yourself, in the small kindnesses no one else will see? They’re in you. They always have been. And the world needs them. Now more than ever.

So here's a short grounding practice for you to meet your better angels when you need some quiet, soft support - an angel on your shoulder.

A Moment to Meet Your Better Angels (Grounding Practice)

You don’t need incense or silence or a perfect morning routine to connect with your better angels. You just need right now. Try this:

1. Pause.

Wherever you are, soften your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Maybe bring a small smile to your lips. Let your hands be heavy in your lap or at your sides. Take one slow breath in, then exhale longer than you inhaled. Just one. That helps switch you into the parasympathetic nervous system. The one where our better angels can reach us.

2. Name five things you can feel.

Your feet on the floor. The weight of your body in your chair. The texture of your clothing. The air against your skin. The heartbeat in your chest.

Let each sensation anchor you deeper into this moment.

This is my favourite practice - the 54321 grounding practice. I recommend it a lot for when people are feeling anxious.

3. Ask, yourself gently: Who do I want to be, right now?

Not forever. Not in theory. Just here, now. Who do you want to be — A listener? A comfort? A witness? A peacekeeper?

Let that small answer rise to the surface. Trust it.

4. Act on it—tiny, quiet, real.

Send the text.

Breathe again.

Hold the door (or Hodor - IYKYK).

Let someone speak.

Forgive yourself.

That’s it.

That’s how your better angels arrive:

Not with trumpets, but with your presence, your awareness.

Not all at once, but one breath at a time.

So invite them in.

With warmth and wonder,

Caitlin

If this letter found you at the right time, feel free to share it with someone else who might need a little wonder today.

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